Better than okay -- better than okay by a long cannon shot. I keep reading and re-reading it, and it's better than a murder, it gives me life again. (You do prefer me alive to dead, right? RIGHT?)
Hornblower talking about his feelings -- he normally never would, of course, so that he did... God, he must have been in agony. I understand that it must feel to you like you were pushing credibility/characterization, but from out here, it's such a clear signal of how desperately he needs relief from the pain he's in, and thus by implication, just how extreme that pain must be. And of course once he starts, he can't stop. Which is too often the case when one cracks a rigidly barred floodgate. And he didn't just out with it, either -- he's been biting the words back ever since the event itself, while the pressure to speak kept growing. No, be assured: it works.
And Bush is so brave. So, so brave. I love that Hornblower's own doubts give Bush clarity -- that's such a gorgeous turn in the narrative right there. If it's for himself, that's one thing -- he can deny his own desires for an eternity, if need be -- but he can't have Hornblower torturing himself like that. GodDAMN but I love Bush so much. And you do such a beautiful job by him.
KISSING. KISSING KISSING K I S S I N G. K I S S I N G. I was frankly envious of how well you wrote the kissing. Bush is feeling SO MUCH. I just. *flails*
...they're pretty close to Brittany right now, if not a day away from Plymouth. NO. I was just reading yesterday about square-rigged ships could only just barely beat upwind, so I am using all my utmost weather-controlling skills to make the wind FOUL FOR ENGLAND. They're gonna be stuck where they are for WEEKS.
(God, now I'm imagining their last night sleeping together before making port.)
She knows her husband loves her (even if he doesn't know it himself)... He does! That's super-clear to me in Hotspur -- I understand exactly how Hornblower's brain works that he doubts himself so much, but it's undeniable that he worries about her and shows SUCH care about her feelings. He does love her, even if he can't recognize it in himself. And I'm SUPER pleased that in this timeline she lives to be Lady Hornblower and has a happy life with her husband and husband-in-law. (Husband-in-duty? Husband-in-service? Hm.)
P.S. I very much hope this satisfied your "only one bed" request. I never meant for it to be so angsty - or so long - but the characters had other ideas, I swear. Dear god, but you satisfied it! It was a flippant request, a passing idea that I hadn't the LEAST idea what to do with. And you developed it so well, and so thoroughly! Made it so rich! So vibrant! Never apologize for the length of this, it was just exactly right (and I would happily read twice as much again if you felt like writing it!) Really, this makes me so happy, and it's the cherry on top that I can say it was my prompt that sparked it.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2019-09-13 06:36 pm (UTC)Hornblower talking about his feelings -- he normally never would, of course, so that he did... God, he must have been in agony. I understand that it must feel to you like you were pushing credibility/characterization, but from out here, it's such a clear signal of how desperately he needs relief from the pain he's in, and thus by implication, just how extreme that pain must be. And of course once he starts, he can't stop. Which is too often the case when one cracks a rigidly barred floodgate. And he didn't just out with it, either -- he's been biting the words back ever since the event itself, while the pressure to speak kept growing. No, be assured: it works.
And Bush is so brave. So, so brave. I love that Hornblower's own doubts give Bush clarity -- that's such a gorgeous turn in the narrative right there. If it's for himself, that's one thing -- he can deny his own desires for an eternity, if need be -- but he can't have Hornblower torturing himself like that. GodDAMN but I love Bush so much. And you do such a beautiful job by him.
KISSING. KISSING KISSING K I S S I N G. K I S S I N G. I was frankly envious of how well you wrote the kissing. Bush is feeling SO MUCH. I just. *flails*
...they're pretty close to Brittany right now, if not a day away from Plymouth. NO. I was just reading yesterday about square-rigged ships could only just barely beat upwind, so I am using all my utmost weather-controlling skills to make the wind FOUL FOR ENGLAND. They're gonna be stuck where they are for WEEKS.
(God, now I'm imagining their last night sleeping together before making port.)
She knows her husband loves her (even if he doesn't know it himself)... He does! That's super-clear to me in Hotspur -- I understand exactly how Hornblower's brain works that he doubts himself so much, but it's undeniable that he worries about her and shows SUCH care about her feelings. He does love her, even if he can't recognize it in himself. And I'm SUPER pleased that in this timeline she lives to be Lady Hornblower and has a happy life with her husband and husband-in-law. (Husband-in-duty? Husband-in-service? Hm.)
P.S. I very much hope this satisfied your "only one bed" request. I never meant for it to be so angsty - or so long - but the characters had other ideas, I swear. Dear god, but you satisfied it! It was a flippant request, a passing idea that I hadn't the LEAST idea what to do with. And you developed it so well, and so thoroughly! Made it so rich! So vibrant! Never apologize for the length of this, it was just exactly right (and I would happily read twice as much again if you felt like writing it!) Really, this makes me so happy, and it's the cherry on top that I can say it was my prompt that sparked it.